How to Stay A Faithful Catholic in Your 20s
Recent trends dictate that there is currently a mass exodus from church attendance, especially when one hits their twenties.
Even worse, most Catholic parishes are unable, unwilling or ill-prepared to reach out to this generation. More than once I have heard pastors state that they expect individuals to return to church, once they get married, have children, and discover the need to have the children baptized. Therefore there is nary any attempt to reach out to this group whatsoever.
The sad news is that recent trends dictate that this new generation isn’t necessarily doing just that.
The Need For Young Adult Ministry
Thankfully, there has been a desire to reach teenagers for the faith, especially those who need an outlet for community within their own age group. The need for this dissipates after they receive the Sacrament of Confirmation, which, ironically, dictates their decision to live for God and ask for the Holy Spirit to change them, but instead is looked upon as some sort of “graduation,” after which, they persuade themselves that this means they no longer need to worry about growing in faith.
So groups like LifeTeen, NFCYM, and Steubenville Conferences have stepped up to the plate, to assist. To be fair, there are young adult ministries, from college-aged FOCUS to NCYAMA, but these are far fewer in number.
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p>When I was in my 20s, I chose to convert to Catholicism. I was convinced it was true, partially due to the positive influence of an outlier: a dynamic young adult Catholic group at my college. But when I moved to another state, shortly after, I felt I had been given a bag of goods. There was nobody at church my own age. There was no attempt to reach out to my age group. I was looking to pursue marriage as a vocation, but there was no way for me to find another faithful young adult Catholic in my parish. The homilies and songs referenced experiences that were divided by older generations. < >/p>
It was an extremely lonely time.
You Might Not Be The One To Do This
One thing I had learned in this time, is that I was not necessarily the one to create the solution to this problem. I was not the one who was called to craft a new group out of thin air.
There were multiple times where I tried to do this, only to come up empty. Part of the reason was that any group worth its salt needs an authority figure—a priest or a deacon—to give it some sort of legitimacy. I hate to say that, but it’s true: if there was no “imprimatur” from one who had the authority to do so, it was looked down upon and ignored.
Furthermore, I recall a story where a young adult group was on its way of getting started in a nearby parish. Leaders were elected. Things progressed for a few months. And then, two of the top leaders fell in love and got engaged. Their interest in sustaining the young adult group dropped considerably. The group died on the spot.
What To Do In The Interim
So, what to do in the interim? I offer nine suggestions from my own experience. They are:
- Go To Weekly Adoration
- Build Up Holy Habits
- Commit to a Daily Devotional
- Read Biographies of Great Saints
- Brush Up on Your Apologetics Skills
- Go to an Interdenominational Group (Caution)
- Discover New Talents
- Resist Temptation
- Find a Way to Serve In Your Parish
Go To Weekly Adoration
Thankfully, Eucharistic Adoration chapels have become a lot more prominent in the last few years. I highly recommend signing up for a Holy Hour, and keeping it. Friendships with young adults your own age may be lacking, but they do not compare with friendship with Christ, who knows you thoroughly and loves you perfectly.
This, along with mass, should be the bedrock of your faithful experience. Pursuing a Holy Hour has sustained me more times than I could ever understand.
It may mean that you would have to get up at an odd hour in the morning. This is one sacrifice that you will not regret.
Build Up Holy Habits
There are many types of other devotions that you can accomplish within the Church, by yourself. These include:
- The Liturgy of the Hours
- Praying the Rosary
- Wearing a Scapular
- The Divine Mercy
- The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius
- Novenas
- Learning Hymns / Praise and Worship Choruses / Chant
- Religious Podcasts
- Fasting
- Learning to Tithe Your Income
What is wonderful about pursuing these actions is that you can do any of these, in such a manner that does not allow you any boasting to others. Your “left hand” will not know what your “right hand” is doing. You are building up habits that will sustain you in the long run.
Commit to a Daily Devotional
Some of the greatest Classical Christian works are left collecting dust, when you are at a time when you could really expand your mind, loving Christ all the while. I heartily recommend discovering works such as “Introduction to the Devout Life” or “The Imitation of Christ.” Because of the growth of digital devices such as Kindle, or the iPieta app, you can have these at your fingertips.
Read Biographies of Great Saints
When you read a biography of a Saint or famous religious figure, you are not just discovering all the accomplishments that they had done. You also discover what makes them tick, what their attitudes were, what it takes to be a Saint. These translate to life-lessons that you can apply in your own life.
I would search out individuals who you can relate to, ancient or modern, and learn from them. Read about their upbringing, their conversion stories, their struggles, and how they surmounted them.
Brush Up on Your Apologetics Skills
Most people in their twenties are losing their faith, partially due to a lack of having honest answers over a whole slew of questions. Some think the church is against science, for example. Or against women. Or that there is too much suffering in the world to prove that God exists. All of these issues, and more, can be countered by quality arguments, discovered through tremendous resources such as Catholic Answers or Reddit’s /r/Catholicism page. Learn them. Know why you believe.
Go to an Interdenominational Group (Caution)
One thing that I recommend, cautiously, is to discover a young adult group in your area, that may be out of an interdenominational church. But only do so if you are committed to pursuing the actions above. I say this because when you go, you may very well meet others who do not agree with your faith, and may try to persuade you to leave the Church.
Non-Catholic evangelists are great people, they have a wonderful heart, and they are afire with the zeal to evangelize. Their example ought to be imitated, to an extent. We can learn from their examples. But that said, the Sacraments are far more worthwhile to pursue.
There are answers to nearly every objection one would have against the Catholic faith, if you care to pursue it. That is where your apologetics skills come into play. That is where your love of Holy Hours come into play. And yet, after all that, you can still grow in your friendship with others your age group, despite the grave differences in doctrine.
Discover New Talents
In your early years, this is a prime opportunity for you to try new activities and pursue interests. You are, in fact, still discovering who you are, and what you are capable of. You can learn an instrument, try a sport, pursue video making, or write a novel. The more you try new things, you will grow into a person who has more nuance and creativity that will bless the world.
Resist Temptation
During this time, you should make strides to not do certain things. The temptation to give into promiscuity, to give up your precious virginity, will be strong. It’s called the “FOMO”, or “Fear of Missing Out.” And it’s a lie.
If you find yourself in a position where you become more liable to give in, whether it be through Internet pornography or going to certain venues where the temptation is imminent, it is best to drop those immediately and leave them behind. Install a monitoring software on your computer system and be held accountable. And when you do fall, know that the Sacrament of Reconciliation is ready for you.
Find a Way to Serve In Your Parish
Lastly, I would seek out opportunities to serve others in your own parish. There may be a need to help with youth ministry, or with RCIA. There may be associations with soup kitchens or helping restore homes. There may be some other lay group well associating with, such as the Ladies Guild or the Knights of Columbus. By putting your faith into action, you are becoming a light to the world.
Conclusion
In 1967, a small group of twenty-somethings converged at a retreat house near Pittsburgh. What happened at that weekend was so profound, that news of it spread to other college campuses in that area, and ultimately the world. The Charismatic Renewal in the Catholic Church had begun at that moment, and God used the twenty-somethings of that time to begin a papal-approved movement that has encompassed the globe, and touched people of every age.
This Sunday is Pentecost Sunday. This is the day that the Church was born, and the events of Acts Chapter 2 took place, when the Holy Spirit converged upon the faithful, who had been anticipating a move of God in the Upper Room.
Can being a faithful Catholic in your twenties be a hard time? Certainly. I know it was for me. But it can also be a time of great grace. But it is my hope that by using the above tactics, your Catholic faith will remain intact, and your relationship with Christ will only grow.
“We all love mountaintop experiences. But the fruit is grown in the valley.”
Please pass this blog post to any person that you know in need of such encouragement.